This very intriguing post, mostly known among creatives and makers:
Lots of people want to be the noun without doing the verb. They want the job title without the work.
Let go of the thing that you’re trying to be (the noun), and focus on the actual work you need to be doing (the verb).
Doing the verb will take you someplace further and far more interesting than just wanting the noun.
I wondered how it applies to Software Engineers wanting to become Engineering Managers.
Let’s go on this journey together to think it through.
By the end of this article, I promise you will have at least some interesting reading suggestions and who knows, maybe some inspiration based on this idea.
You’re a Software Engineer in a 1-1 with your manager when they ask you about your career aspirations. You say, "I want to be an Engineering Manager". It’s a common answer, but does it really capture what you mean?
Now think of a different response: “I want to grow my leadership skills so I can manage this team”. Notice how one feels more connected to the present and the people around you? This subtle change in language can redefine your path to leadership.
Titles vs. Actions: What Are You Really Saying?
“I Want to Be a Manager” This statement is about the title. It suggests you are focused on a milestone in your career, but it leaves questions unanswered. What do you hope to achieve as a manager? Why do you want this role? What is the business need you are looking to fulfil?
“I Want to Manage This Team” This shows that you care about your current environment and that you're ready to act, not just climb the ladder. The natural response to this is “why this team?”, not “why this role?”.
Managers don’t earn trust through their titles; they earn it through their actions. Saying you want to manage this team signals a commitment to the people and problems in front of you, not just the idea of authority.
Leadership as a Service (Not Status)
Good leadership starts with service. When you say, “I want to be a manager” the focus shifts to you and what you want. While ambition is healthy, leadership is about serving others: guiding your team, solving problems, and enabling success.
“I want to manage this team” communicates that you’re focused on helping this team even more.
If you want to stand out as a leader, make it clear that your goal is to lift others up, not just to sit in the manager’s chair.
Start leading from where you are. Volunteer to handle team challenges, take initiative, and advocate for solutions that benefit everyone.
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Managers Are Made by Their Impact, Not Their Title
When you show leadership qualities like accountability, collaboration, and empathy, people naturally start seeing you as a leader, title or not.
Compare these approaches:
Title-focused: “I want to manage so I can make decisions”
Action-focused: “I want to manage this team so I can help us improve our processes”
One centers on authority; the other centers on results.
Change your Mindset
Three steps to go from title-focused to action-oriented leadership:
Focus on Impact: When you express your goals, highlight the specific ways you want to contribute. Example: “I’d love to help this team improve its delivery timelines.”
Lead Before You’re Asked: Start acting like a leader by solving problems, mentoring others, and building a culture of trust.
Stay Team-Focused: Regularly ask yourself: “What can I do to make this team better?” This mindset keeps your priorities aligned with the people you serve.
Some Inspiration
What makes a real difference is the effort you put into leading and supporting your team - the recognition and title will come after.
If this idea resonates with you, here are some books you might enjoy:
The Manager’s Path by Camille Fournier: A clear guide for engineers moving into leadership.
Radical Candor by Kim Scott: Advice on being a caring and effective manager.
Drive by Daniel H. Pink: Insights into what motivates people and how you can foster that in your team.
